everyone thinks im weird. sometimes i think it's cool cause it means i am unique enough to be odd and unordinary. then again, i think it isnt a good thing. because the things i say and how i behave scare people. sometimes, i think, i scare myself.
i enjoy really gore and torture movies, books, stories, manga. and i will chuckle at how ridiculous the storyline or the production. what scares myself the most is that i also love drawing them. guts, intestines. blood. people dying. i really like blood. will i grow up to be a killer? will i? because a few times, i got myself accidentally cut and got bruises and ...and i felt myself attracted to the wounds. the blood trickled nonchalantly...almost like semi solid. caking around the cut. the more i squeeze it, the more blood came running out. is this normal?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? i am so disgusting. i am so disgusting. i am fucking disgusting....
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