I AM EXCITED FOR MY FUTURE. IT IS KINDA BRIGHT AND I AM WRITING IN CAPS TO SHOW MY EXCITEMENT. I CANT WAIT TO BE HAPPY AND THIS ISNT EVEN SARCASM. 

I PROMISE!

tea

i really enjoy a hot mug of tea more than any drink (okay besides water....and iced wintermelon tea...those are exceptions...ok and iced milo and really really really cold hoegarden....OKAY NO MORE). 

especially on cooler nights after a thunderstorm, the experience is just WOW. 

today, i attempted to climb a tree, played with snails and fed swans. EVERYTHING FOR THE FIRST TIME! :) it's been a while since i feel like a child. thank you kristine :) sometimes, i wish i can blog about things more openly. but nevermind, i shall keep it only in my heart. 

I know I shouldn’t feel empty,
now that you love me
but the moon still looks lonely
when it’s full.

sluts

I just saw this particular tweet from the TP Confessions twitter and I am slightly alarmed.

"Can't stand those girls who wear shorts that are really short. Slut alert? #tpconfessions" *i sense some jealousy....*

That's just down right slut shaming someone who they do not even know. Such a stupid statement. Sure, wearing short-shorts is probably not the most appropriate for school. But wearing short shorts does not prove anyone being a slut. If she's confident to flaunt her legs or some butt cheeks, just let it. Why do people always have to degrade someone of their confidence? I wish I have the confidence to do that, too.

Also, who are you to just judge anyone. WHO ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

I don't wear shorts shorts to school. I do not feel comfortable or confident enough to even own a pair. AND THEREFORE I SALUTE TO THE GIRLS WHO CAN FLAUNT THEIR BOOTIE AND LEGS WITH PRIDE, and also they don't mind sharing it to strangers..... Nobody should tell you what you can do or cannot do, unless it's against the law which I don't know how to address that. :( But really... shaming other people based on the clothes they wear, that's just mean and ignorant. :( :( :(

We began to exchange stories about
how alone I was
and stories about how alone you weren’t —
and how funny it was
to have found solace in how we were both
as empty as each other.

#gpoy #me #selfie

/ o \

materialistic wishes~ this would make such a cute outfit, which i probably cant pull off... nevertheless!

1. Heartbeat Dress in Pink by Cupcake

Oooohhhh la, the holes are heart shaped. 

2. Sweetheart Earrings by imyourpresent

Cmmon.....how can anyone not find these sweetheart earrings cute?

3. Teeth Hair Clip by Wolf and Hound

4. Cat Eye Shades from A lil Boris Vintage

5. Black Holographic Glitter Nail Polish by Spectra Cosmetic

6. Converse Chuck Taylor Premium from Shop Kith NYC

*u*

7. Yue Pocket Bagpack by Pour Porter

$_$

losing grip

Sometimes, at different times of the day, I have so much going into my head. I feel really alone, because I don't have anyone, anywhere or anyway I can let it go. Perhaps, through this blog I can pour a little out. Just a tiny portion. But I'm always craving, and afraid because the internet is everyone, which is a paradox to what i've previously mentioned. Have you ever feel this way before?

Like you have friends, but when you need someone you can't seem to make yourself look for help.

I don't like myself. I don't like my friends, I feel so insufferable and bad about everything. It's not trendy to feel bad. I just do, and it cannot be helped and its very very very brave for typing this out right now. But I really need somewhere I can throw all this out, might explode if I don't. If anyone whose reading this, who personally know me, I'm sure you might lose respect for me...... and I'm sorry because I am weak, and I cannot stand firmly on my own.

I wish I can rub myself clean; my judgements, neurosis and emotions. There are really happy and nice people out there whom I encounter everyday. They make me feel sick. At the same time, I wish I could be as happy like them, too. Why is it so difficult? I do feel grateful, but there's just this... idek.

Also,

opening up is tough. When you do, people would make use of your vulnerability, and dump salt in your raw wounds. It doesn't feel nice, at all....

Please,

can you understand? Let this work if you let me cut you open, so I don't have to feel alone. And you don't have to feel alone. I'll promise to do the same. I know I'm a little rotten, but don't let that discourage you. Because I'm going to lose my grip, soon.

do you ever go through those phases where you just don’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days and it’s not because you’re mad or anything you just don’t feel like talking?



some noise for sunday, also, in case i forget about this track, i can come back here. this is just really nice!

“don’t tell anyone what I just told you” i said “I won’t tell anyone” they reply, as they copy and paste the entire conversation to their best friend.

trust no one. nobody but yourself, not even your mom, your dad, your dog, your best friend, your boyfriend, God.

no one, but yourself.

i keep getting disappointed. read somewhere, if i dont give a fuck, i will never be disappointed ever again.

i want to sit with you on a porch swing and watch the bats catch mosquitoes and maybe hold your hand

:(
:(
:(
:(
:(

sum-sum---ssssummmer time sadness.

what luck!

my day was horrible. probably the worst week i've encounter this year. MY HARD-DISK DIED! so did all the works i'd been doing since the beginning of my poly years. fuck it.

side note, this only motivates me to produce even better works. HA FUCK IT _l_  to be honest, i dont really know who im saying 'fuck it' to. oh, maybe to you since you are reading this. but, nah, it just slipped out of my.....fingers.



this perked me up a little. now, a scented warm bath would be great. too bad, i don't have a bath tub at home. if only i got shrunk, so i can take a bath in my favorite mug instead!

still having some etta james fever. lol, please please you got to hear this one! it's so nice, feels like a fluffy kitten bouncing in clouds.

I NEED TO UP MY PRODUCTIVENESS. HELLO SOMEONE PUSH ME! feeling like a 8 tonne rock sinked at the bottom of the sea.

SIGH

And oh, yeah, yeah, fool that I am
For hoping, oh, you'd understand
And thinking you would listen too
And oh, the things, the things I had planned

HOLLA TO PEOPLE FROM GERMANY! Lol, I wonder why there's a suddenly so many viewers from Germany. I LOVE CURRYWURST! :D

my body is really bad, been getting numbed every now and then once i stop moving. better see a doctor soon, am i going to die?

I'm learning!!!! :D

"When you want something from someone, give them something instead, with no strings attached or expectations. Ask how you can be of service. Act like a true friend, even before you’ve established a friendship." – Dave Kerpen, CEO of Likeable Local

sidetracks

things i want someone to do together:

hold hands

discover new music

make food

eat food

watch underrated indie films

play-wrestle

donate blood

help the community

design

create a project

go on a merry go round in the park

jump off the swing when its at its peak

plant tomato seeds

be fed cherry tomatoes LOL

video games

battle!!!!

go-kart racing

separate bumper cars

hot dog contest

or pizza eating contest

explore new places

paint nails

give each other hair cuts

buy cans and cans of wintermelon tea and play bowling with it

alternatively, beer would be fine, too

crazy public dares

paint

nerf war

nap

adopt a pet or...a plant

ruin each other's faces with eyeliner

roller coasters

pranks

write nice thank you cards

clean wounds (if theres any)

pretend to be logs and...

roll in the mud 

roll down the hill

roll down the stairs (if its big enough) with mattress landing LOL

make sock puppets

...and then make up a stupid story with it

read children storybooks

disturb cats

disturb dogs

disturb ducks

visit the aquarium....while its not crowded

sneak into the theatre for a free show

prank someone? 

doodle on hands

doodle on knees

awkward dances

laugh

troll people....which is pranking. 

OK the list is infinite....

bye 

let's be nice for a change.

i'd been smiling to a lot of strangers lately. some ignored me, some glanced, some even glared (the wtf face) but it made me smiled harder when someone returned one back. it's like saying thank you, but not really saying it. :)

strangers are really, strange.

fat shaming is bad (｡◕‿◕｡)
skinny shaming is bad (｡◕‿◕｡)

dont shame anybody for the way their body looks (❂‿❂)

i may not have my life put together, but at least i never did a harlem shake video.

when was the last time you did something for the first time

how brilliant, and extremely relatable with the people of our age! BRAVOOOOOOOO EASTPAK! pretty smart campaign and awesome visuals!

more from here

replaying ace attorney 3 instead of animal crossing. sorry folks, but Phoenix Wright is spinning in my head right now.

NOT GUILTY!

another week begins!

well. today was fun. the show finally ended. at least, my two best buds came over to visit. good enough. it's better not to expect too much anyway, all you get is disappointment. just be happy and grateful for the moment. maybe good things would come eventually.

it's already four months into 2013. so fast.

anyway, i just want things to work out, okay? all i want is someone who i can fully trust, why is it so hard? anybody who appreciates me for who i am and i can return every ounce of it, too.

im pretty good at making people think im okay.

if only i can stop having emotions. it's impossible because most emotions are triggered by memories, and even if you have your memories erased, your brain will create new ones inevitably. sigh, i feel like i've thought too much, so much that it's starting to hurt.

Shivering Bowls

Shivering Bowls by Nendo from Dezeen on Vimeo.

So beautiful and delicate! :)

remembered sharing something really personal with someone who wasn't very personal with. i'd tried. and i didn't know what gave me the courage to but, i did it. maybe, because sometimes all you want is a friend. you know, it's nice being alone and sinking into your own bed, enjoying no one's company but yourself. don't find it lonely, but well... just sometimes....

and then when i see this particular person (can i even call her a friend?????) today...which is approx a year later, i regretted it because she's just not who i thought she was. the great great irony. and i probably regret the most is to be vulnerable to someone who i placed some trust in. also, it's time consuming, disappointing, and upsetting. why did i even do it in the beginning? why can't my blog become a human.

now, a year later, i've tried again. but poured whole lot more soul into it. will i regret, a year later when i look back?

show all that you'd got!

hello!

today was the first day of my design show. i have invited my ex sec school mates whom i (think) was closest with. hopefully they turn up to support dear ol' me. it's a little deafening when i wandered through my schoolmates' works. very varied, yet all really really good. shaking a little inside because ugh, i feel so small. :( consoling myself, it's okay, 'you'll catch up!'

in case anyone is wondering, i'm doing a small project about accidents. it's just a cheeky take and it has funny easter bananas popping out everywhere. literally.

yes yes, it's simply red, yellow and grey. oh shit, maybe i should bring in my development book! someone asked me to show my sketches and i was like :| awkwardness!!!!

this song is so perfect in every way. it's like, MY MIND RIGHT NOW! oh lenka, you are so quirky i love your voice so so much. good night, stranger.

I want to whisper sweet nothings to you in a dead language and romantically watch as the mountains become ashes and the seas turn to blood