groans and moans

just came back from school and here i am, scooping chocolate spread from my jar of sainsbury chocolate spread. if you can tell, i'm really on a super tight budget. lol, kudos to the house brand chocolate spread! it's literally just sugar with 1% taste of chocolate in it. i don't understand how my friends can effort to dine out for every meal (thanks, instagram). i feel like a slack because the first thing i'm doing is open this jar of chocolate spread and bloggin about it right now. at least, it's made in in uk with '100% farm fresh milk'! hurrah!

lol, i am so sad. but fuck it. fuck everyone. 

it's kind of tough trying to start a conversation with people here. i'm not sure, maybe its my incapability to speak beautiful sounding- english. not like my grammar is any better. the conversations are so awkward, i fully understand how annoyed my recipients (is it even called recipients?) would get. 

typical conversation with a new person....

me:"hey, wow so you're doing graphics? oh wait, of course you're doing graphics *trololol* you're in this lecture hall!!!" 

person:"yeah. ha ha!"

me:"so where are you from? pretty dress by the way"

person:"really? thanks *smiles politely* i'm from_________"

me:"wow, that's so cool! .... .. ....."

and then it gets so fucking silent because i don't know how to continue most of time. even with asians/chinese. i'm pretty sure it's my english. it's so awful. gosh, i feel like a little caged rat cause people don't understand the way i speak. and usually i'm quite cheerful and genuinely interested in regardless who/what background they are from. also, when they said 'pardon' and i have to repeat myself a few times..... like you know how you tell a joke and nobody gets it even after you've explained it. what a giant piece of gum i'd stepped on.

at least, well at least, most of the conversation starters involves my braces buttons which 99.9% of the people i encounter mistake it as piercings. LOL 

Oh hello, how do you do... *groans*

but you know, i'll work it out. ugh! 

it's quite strange that people/friends ask me how i'm doing in london. because i am doing okay, not like i have anything bad happening to me. in fact it's pretty good. but i kept having that thing in me, like i'm suppose to give a super exciting answer (like how you expect from movies and such?)!! 

"OH it's brilliant *english accent*! I'm enjoying my fish and chips, mash and bangers and wow, everything is lovely and tea is just so great." 

Good news is that, the college i'm studying is totally open to objections which i am extremely excited to provide! LOL.... bad news is, i can't communicate very well. so erm...really got to work on that. chinese food here sucks, if anyone is interested in that point. till then x