keeping it real?

remember a few days ago i said how much i love to be interested in people (in layman's term, nosy but in a more intelligent way to say it lol) and the idea of being 'in love with someone' is something that appeals to me. i would like to add that i dislike it too (i had to backspace 'hate' since hate is such a intense emotion...it isnt true), because 1. i dont think i can quite grasp the concept of 'love' very well yet, and 2. once you get involve with that, feelings/emotions always...somehow seep into it. and now im in a standstill, trying to figure how i'll ever manage this. its not even that complicated. why am i adding in so many... many ingredients. 

sandy, keep it simple, no one really likes sweet and sour (and sometimes spicy) pork that much...there's too much chemicals; it's all a marketing make-believe... or is it? i dont know. 

i hadnt been going to church since last year...is this why i feel like a whirlwind had taken over my head? LOL.