Wednesday, October 22, 2014

1.06AM

deadline is in less than 48hours and ive not given any fuck at all. untouched, nothing has been done. am i doomed? probably not, probably a bad grade, bad impression.

why do i fucking feel more lonely than ever before?

i've got fellow friends as my roomies, my cousin is here to visit. yes its cold. bloody hell, fucking wind blowing my face till i cant breathe... it really hurts breathing cold air. im not timid, maybe slightly shy, but i am an introvert.

i still remembered justin doing that personality test thing on me. his self evaluation by his own 'mental judgement'. he told me i was an extrovert. so that evening, i went back home to do the mdia personality quest thing. and i was told to be an introvert. so im like okay.

somehow, the conversation went back to extrovert/introvert when i was talking to justin again. and i remember saying, 'i think im a introvert'.

justin said, "no, youre not. youre a extrovert."

"i did a personality test and it said im introvert"

"i swear youre a extrovert"

i didnt say anything else after. and then i did the test a few more times... in which out of the 6 times i did, 5 of them shown a result that i am 'introvert'.

i feel more 'in' than 'out' anyway.

had another chat with justin about it again and insisted i am extrovert, again.

from then on, i just have a negative impression of him.

why am i talking about this right now when ive got more important things to do. i dont know. maybe im spaced out again and just want to move my fingers real fast on the keyboard. anyway, i think i will make myself really attractive. yeah yeah im 21 and i just typed this shit out.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

i'd been thinking for a while.... you know about being single or attached, finding a partner etc.

i think a lot of girls crave for the security that they think a guy can provide in a relationship. whether it's materialistic, emotional or physical, it's very one sided (at least, i'd been trying to see this in the pov of a young hong kong girl... been mixing with hong kong people a bit recently)....

the first thing that that needs to be fixed is this mentality. i have so much thoughts but cant seem to put them properly into words...