Tuesday, April 30, 2013



Sunday, April 28, 2013


i really enjoy a hot mug of tea more than any drink (okay besides water....and iced wintermelon tea...those are exceptions...ok and iced milo and really really really cold hoegarden....OKAY NO MORE). 

especially on cooler nights after a thunderstorm, the experience is just WOW. 

today, i attempted to climb a tree, played with snails and fed swans. EVERYTHING FOR THE FIRST TIME! :) it's been a while since i feel like a child. thank you kristine :) sometimes, i wish i can blog about things more openly. but nevermind, i shall keep it only in my heart. 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

I know I shouldn’t feel empty,
now that you love me
but the moon still looks lonely
when it’s full.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


I just saw this particular tweet from the TP Confessions twitter and I am slightly alarmed.

"Can't stand those girls who wear shorts that are really short. Slut alert? #tpconfessions" *i sense some jealousy....*

That's just down right slut shaming someone who they do not even know. Such a stupid statement. Sure, wearing short-shorts is probably not the most appropriate for school. But wearing short shorts does not prove anyone being a slut. If she's confident to flaunt her legs or some butt cheeks, just let it. Why do people always have to degrade someone of their confidence? I wish I have the confidence to do that, too.

Also, who are you to just judge anyone. WHO ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

I don't wear shorts shorts to school. I do not feel comfortable or confident enough to even own a pair. AND THEREFORE I SALUTE TO THE GIRLS WHO CAN FLAUNT THEIR BOOTIE AND LEGS WITH PRIDE, and also they don't mind sharing it to strangers..... Nobody should tell you what you can do or cannot do, unless it's against the law which I don't know how to address that. :( But really... shaming other people based on the clothes they wear, that's just mean and ignorant. :( :( :(

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

We began to exchange stories about
how alone I was
and stories about how alone you weren’t —
and how funny it was
to have found solace in how we were both
as empty as each other.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

/ o \

materialistic wishes~ this would make such a cute outfit, which i probably cant pull off... nevertheless!

1. Heartbeat Dress in Pink by Cupcake
Oooohhhh la, the holes are heart shaped. 
2. Sweetheart Earrings by imyourpresent
Cmmon.....how can anyone not find these sweetheart earrings cute?
3. Teeth Hair Clip by Wolf and Hound
4. Cat Eye Shades from A lil Boris Vintage
5. Black Holographic Glitter Nail Polish by Spectra Cosmetic
6. Converse Chuck Taylor Premium from Shop Kith NYC
7. Yue Pocket Bagpack by Pour Porter

losing grip

Sometimes, at different times of the day, I have so much going into my head. I feel really alone, because I don't have anyone, anywhere or anyway I can let it go. Perhaps, through this blog I can pour a little out. Just a tiny portion. But I'm always craving, and afraid because the internet is everyone, which is a paradox to what i've previously mentioned. Have you ever feel this way before?

Like you have friends, but when you need someone you can't seem to make yourself look for help.

I don't like myself. I don't like my friends, I feel so insufferable and bad about everything. It's not trendy to feel bad. I just do, and it cannot be helped and its very very very brave for typing this out right now. But I really need somewhere I can throw all this out, might explode if I don't. If anyone whose reading this, who personally know me, I'm sure you might lose respect for me...... and I'm sorry because I am weak, and I cannot stand firmly on my own.

I wish I can rub myself clean; my judgements, neurosis and emotions. There are really happy and nice people out there whom I encounter everyday. They make me feel sick. At the same time, I wish I could be as happy like them, too. Why is it so difficult? I do feel grateful, but there's just this... idek.


opening up is tough. When you do, people would make use of your vulnerability, and dump salt in your raw wounds. It doesn't feel nice, at all....


can you understand? Let this work if you let me cut you open, so I don't have to feel alone. And you don't have to feel alone. I'll promise to do the same. I know I'm a little rotten, but don't let that discourage you. Because I'm going to lose my grip, soon.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

do you ever go through those phases where you just don’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days and it’s not because you’re mad or anything you just don’t feel like talking?

some noise for sunday, also, in case i forget about this track, i can come back here. this is just really nice!

“don’t tell anyone what I just told you” i said “I won’t tell anyone” they reply, as they copy and paste the entire conversation to their best friend.

trust no one. nobody but yourself, not even your mom, your dad, your dog, your best friend, your boyfriend, God.

no one, but yourself.
i keep getting disappointed. read somewhere, if i dont give a fuck, i will never be disappointed ever again.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

what luck!

my day was horrible. probably the worst week i've encounter this year. MY HARD-DISK DIED! so did all the works i'd been doing since the beginning of my poly years. fuck it.

side note, this only motivates me to produce even better works. HA FUCK IT _l_  to be honest, i dont really know who im saying 'fuck it' to. oh, maybe to you since you are reading this. but, nah, it just slipped out of my.....fingers.

this perked me up a little. now, a scented warm bath would be great. too bad, i don't have a bath tub at home. if only i got shrunk, so i can take a bath in my favorite mug instead!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

still having some etta james fever. lol, please please you got to hear this one! it's so nice, feels like a fluffy kitten bouncing in clouds.

I NEED TO UP MY PRODUCTIVENESS. HELLO SOMEONE PUSH ME! feeling like a 8 tonne rock sinked at the bottom of the sea.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


And oh, yeah, yeah, fool that I am
For hoping, oh, you'd understand
And thinking you would listen too
And oh, the things, the things I had planned

Saturday, April 13, 2013

HOLLA TO PEOPLE FROM GERMANY! Lol, I wonder why there's a suddenly so many viewers from Germany. I LOVE CURRYWURST! :D

my body is really bad, been getting numbed every now and then once i stop moving. better see a doctor soon, am i going to die?

Thursday, April 11, 2013

I'm learning!!!! :D

"When you want something from someone, give them something instead, with no strings attached or expectations. Ask how you can be of service. Act like a true friend, even before you’ve established a friendship." – Dave Kerpen, CEO of Likeable Local


things i want someone to do together:

hold hands
discover new music
make food
eat food
watch underrated indie films
donate blood
help the community
create a project
go on a merry go round in the park
jump off the swing when its at its peak
plant tomato seeds
be fed cherry tomatoes LOL
video games
go-kart racing
separate bumper cars
hot dog contest
or pizza eating contest
explore new places
paint nails
give each other hair cuts
buy cans and cans of wintermelon tea and play bowling with it
alternatively, beer would be fine, too
crazy public dares
nerf war
adopt a pet or...a plant
ruin each other's faces with eyeliner
roller coasters
write nice thank you cards
clean wounds (if theres any)
pretend to be logs and...
roll in the mud 
roll down the hill
roll down the stairs (if its big enough) with mattress landing LOL
make sock puppets
...and then make up a stupid story with it
read children storybooks
disturb cats
disturb dogs
disturb ducks
visit the aquarium....while its not crowded
sneak into the theatre for a free show
prank someone? 
doodle on hands
doodle on knees
awkward dances
troll people....which is pranking. 
OK the list is infinite....


let's be nice for a change.

i'd been smiling to a lot of strangers lately. some ignored me, some glanced, some even glared (the wtf face) but it made me smiled harder when someone returned one back. it's like saying thank you, but not really saying it. :)

strangers are really, strange.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

fat shaming is bad (。◕‿◕。)
skinny shaming is bad (。◕‿◕。)
dont shame anybody for the way their body looks (❂‿❂)

i may not have my life put together, but at least i never did a harlem shake video.

Monday, April 8, 2013

when was the last time you did something for the first time

how brilliant, and extremely relatable with the people of our age! BRAVOOOOOOOO EASTPAK! pretty smart campaign and awesome visuals!

more from here

replaying ace attorney 3 instead of animal crossing. sorry folks, but Phoenix Wright is spinning in my head right now.


Sunday, April 7, 2013

Saturday, April 6, 2013

well. today was fun. the show finally ended. at least, my two best buds came over to visit. good enough. it's better not to expect too much anyway, all you get is disappointment. just be happy and grateful for the moment. maybe good things would come eventually.

it's already four months into 2013. so fast.

anyway, i just want things to work out, okay? all i want is someone who i can fully trust, why is it so hard? anybody who appreciates me for who i am and i can return every ounce of it, too.

Friday, April 5, 2013

im pretty good at making people think im okay.

if only i can stop having emotions. it's impossible because most emotions are triggered by memories, and even if you have your memories erased, your brain will create new ones inevitably. sigh, i feel like i've thought too much, so much that it's starting to hurt.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

remembered sharing something really personal with someone who wasn't very personal with. i'd tried. and i didn't know what gave me the courage to but, i did it. maybe, because sometimes all you want is a friend. you know, it's nice being alone and sinking into your own bed, enjoying no one's company but yourself. don't find it lonely, but well... just sometimes....

and then when i see this particular person (can i even call her a friend?????) today...which is approx a year later, i regretted it because she's just not who i thought she was. the great great irony. and i probably regret the most is to be vulnerable to someone who i placed some trust in. also, it's time consuming, disappointing, and upsetting. why did i even do it in the beginning? why can't my blog become a human.

now, a year later, i've tried again. but poured whole lot more soul into it. will i regret, a year later when i look back?

show all that you'd got!


today was the first day of my design show. i have invited my ex sec school mates whom i (think) was closest with. hopefully they turn up to support dear ol' me. it's a little deafening when i wandered through my schoolmates' works. very varied, yet all really really good. shaking a little inside because ugh, i feel so small. :( consoling myself, it's okay, 'you'll catch up!'

in case anyone is wondering, i'm doing a small project about accidents. it's just a cheeky take and it has funny easter bananas popping out everywhere. literally.

yes yes, it's simply red, yellow and grey. oh shit, maybe i should bring in my development book! someone asked me to show my sketches and i was like :| awkwardness!!!!

this song is so perfect in every way. it's like, MY MIND RIGHT NOW! oh lenka, you are so quirky i love your voice so so much. good night, stranger.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I want to whisper sweet nothings to you in a dead language and romantically watch as the mountains become ashes and the seas turn to blood