Sunday, June 26, 2011

i just have too much to say,

yes, i do have many things swimming in my head. like how unfair this is or that is. or why can't it turn out to be what i want. there's a million things i want to know, or at least let it all out. i'm frustrated, like how a teenager wants to grow out of ,to become independent yet, i don't think i want to loose the child-like innocence i have. i want answers. i want answers. i don't really get what' i'm typing now, i'm just typing whatever's in my mind. i'd seen some people on Facebook, boasting, well not exactly boosting, but telling the world or sharing images from their oversea trip. i wish i can be where they are now. i'm really bored and tired and bored in this place. it's like every time i start a new blog entry, i write almost the identical thing. how i wish i can just go away and become someone else instead. what am i going to be for the next ten years? i'm scared. i'm afraid of the future, of who i would turn out to be. i mean, my parents won't live forever. my sister got her own life. and i'm all alone in this place. it's frightening, the thought of being alone. and i'm not expecting someone to come along, and scoop me into their heart. it's like- .... .... it's like SO NFJSKDALJHLASHBAHJKSBAHSJVASGAVSGAHMSVAGHSVGHAVSLAUGUILEHLIUWHELWIUEHLEIUHELUAHSLIUA.

i wish i'm a cactus.

i'm not screaming for attention or anything on that line. but i just want answers. like. ....... ....all those what if's. after all, humans are really wretched, sinful, dirt filled creatures. you can trust nobody, but God. BUT GOD ISNT EXACTLY  PHYSICALLY AVAILABLE! sigh. and i can't go swimming now. :(

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