sometimes, i dont know what I want.
i cant see myself committing to anyone; too aloof and distracted to be connected to just one person. but i want to give it a go..try...i really want to. i dont want to be anyone's fling, or some fuck buddy. it's distasteful (no matter how i want to convince myself that it's fine if you crave for it too) but i just cant do it. people who wants friends with benefits are probably at the extreme ends. either they are too afraid to open up again or they have everything so there's no need for anyone else...it is fucked up both ways.
it's not fair. sex cant be sex (that's just fucking, and animals fuck...) it's suppose to be special and wonderful. not discardable. the thing about sex is you have to commit to someone for it to work. i want to pour my heart and soul to someone and try again but no one wants that.. and its all the wrong people. i feel so jaded, and it's all in my head :,(