“An honorable human relationship—that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love’—is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.
It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.
It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.
It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.” —Adrienne Rich, On Lies, Secrets, and Silence
When we become real people to one another, we become less susceptible to hurting and policing one another, both figuratively and in the very literal and pragmatic senses of poking holes in the lie of a dominant and univocal mode of living as the “right” one. Vulnerability is not a wound, but a cure.