need to stop this habit of self loath and the desire to 'redeem' myself to fit into someone else's image. i should give myself more credit and love... oh love.
mentally exhausting, but staying up so late to analyse books and research in relation to my work is very satisfying. like, omg there are so much to learn and the way the author perceive is mind-blowing! why didn't i think of that? now that i see it in that way, i can evolve and put what i learnt into creating better works. i'm hopeful. really, i am. i am trying and trying, climbing this excruciating flight of stairs up to...success!!!! meanwhile, i should take some rest and go to bed. :D
till then! x